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Everything I Now Am

I am now a bundle
a bundle of empty goodbyes
and unused condoms
I am remnants of lovers who didn't kiss me goodbye
I am now the songs I didn't sing for the ones who pleaded me
I am now the tears that hide under my pillows till the alarm clock screams
I am the the calls I never returned
and the flights I took to all the cities
to save a love from drowning in alcohol
I am the cheesecakes I baked to win back the love I lost
to insecurity
through the stomachs of his friends
I am the lies I lied to the last page of my notebooks
all because my heart couldn't decide
which part of my body needed more blood.
I am them all, I am all my mistakes,
I am a bundle
a bundle waiting to be undone and re-distributed to those who should've loved me better.

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