Everything I Now Am

I am now a bundle

a bundle of empty goodbyes

and unused condoms

I am remnants of lovers who didn't kiss me goodbye

I am now the songs I didn't sing for the ones who pleaded me

I am now the tears that hide under my pillows till the alarm clock screams

I am the the calls I never returned

and the flights I took to all the cities

to save a love from drowning in alcohol

I am the cheesecakes I baked to win back the love I lost

to insecurity

through the stomachs of his friends

I am the lies I lied to the last page of my notebooks

all because my heart couldn't decide

which part of my body needed more blood.

I am them all, I am all my mistakes,

I am a bundle

a bundle waiting to be undone and re-distributed to those who should've loved me better.