Something Like That

Whenever I sit to write things, I find myself at a loss of words. It's like I have an idea and I want it to materialise but the variety of my emotions and impulses mix together and they choke me.

But maybe I do say what I want to but it's still not quite enough; it's like following one wing of a fan with one eye and watching it turn into a blur; it's like swimming while it rains and watching that one raindrop your gaze was following merge into the bigger body of water...it's like drowning in that pool.

Something like that.

- Anahita Dawar

Comments

Daldal

He was unlike any boy she had met. She was intoxicated by the thought of him. He was fascinated by the idea of her. Neither of them had any idea of what was going on in the other's head, neither of them knew what the other person was thinking. She wanted to be his best friend. She wanted to be his sworn confidante. No, she didn't know him at all. All she knew about him was his name, his passion for music and that he was a huge John Mayer fan. She had no idea of what she was getting into or how she got in but she couldn't control the attraction she felt towards him. She knew that there was something very dangerous about him. She knew it the second she spoke to him for the first time ever... But there was just something very captivating about the eyes he kept hidden from the world; there was a mystic magic that the compelling and almost magnetic force of his gaze seemed to display and yet surreptitiously concealed behind the domains of his self-created psychosocial barriers...

Vent

I'm scared of having your heart stop beating I'm scared of the people you're meeting I'm scared of the alcohol drowning you I'm scared of the things you might do I'm scared of broken glass pins penetrating your skin I'm scared of your beautiful body collapsing in the bin I'm scared of the bruises on my cheeks of the cement collecting besides my door I'm scared of torn post-it notes I'm scared of echos of these walls and the whispers of the neighbors outside I'm scared of the whiskey spilling on my mind I'm scared I'm the reason of your ruin We used to be young and wise now we're old and we are withering apart I don't want to be the reason. I don't want to smoke out my insecurities, or know how I'm smoking I don't want anyone to fix me. I cannot expect you to heal...

C h u p (monologue)

Disclaimer : This monologue has nothing to do with my life. Don't you dare "chup" me. You can call me a bitch, a whore, a fat ass, dumb headed good for nothing, fake piece of shit... Whatever you want in the world. But don't you fucking dare "chup" me. You can tell me to shut up but don't chup me. I can't explain how much I hate that word. Hate, yes. I hate that word. It's disgusting. Be thankful I've been chup. because i am really not talking because if I were, I would be saying a lot more than what I'm saying right now. Trust me, I can go on and on and never stop. Not even if you start hating me even more. Not even if your ears start bleeding and you start begging me to SHUT UP instead of ordering me to. Be thankful that I've kept my words to myself. If I had to speak my mind, you would be in tears right now. And you. And he would be in tears too. And that guy from 2011, he would be fucking suicidal right no...

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